The Pigment of Success
Monteclair Sprae is a man of many hues, though today he has settled on a shade he describes as "Legacy Chestnut." As we sit in the cafeteria of the Children's Science Museum of Seattle, the fluorescent lights bounce off his forehead, which is currently three shades darker than his forearms. He isn't here for the exhibits; he’s here for the "vibe.""
"If I wasn't constantly concerned with being so f*cking wealthy I might relax a bit and play a game with you, which I did on the 25th of June 2002 at 07:00 when the trout were jumping for dawn's early mites. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for life," said Monteclair Sprae to his son Denny.
Monteclair and Denny are French Canadians visiting the Children's Science Museum of Seattle. Monteclair makes annual visits to the Pacific Northwest for relaxation and perspective and this year his adult child Denny is accompanying him. In 2012 Denny was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder, but that hasn't stopped the Spraes from showing the world how brown it can be. We caught up with Monteclair after he first caught our eye in the March edition of AARP, discussing his newly acquired pigment. Denny sits opposite him on the other side of the picnic table with headphones on singing the chorus to "Red Bone."
The Burden of Brown
"It seems your ability to alter the color of your skin has generated an incredible social sensation as well as adequate endorsements. Do you feel an obligation to discuss your condition with others?" I ask, gesturing toward his mahogany-tinted knuckles. "Whenever white people need something to talk about," Monteclair replies, checking his gold watch. "It’s a service, really. I provide a conversational bridge. One day I’m 'Sun-Baked Tuscan,' the next I’m 'Deep Umber.' It keeps the country club on its toes. But frankly, the maintenance is exhausting. Do you know how hard it is to find a foundation that matches a man who changes color based on his portfolio performance?" Monteclair explains that the transition from Caucasian to his current palette wasn't a choice so much as a biological manifestation of his "inner complexity." However, the novelty is wearing thin.
- The pros include a 15% increase in Instagram engagement and a featured spread in AARP.
- The cons involve a confusing amount of paperwork at the border and a complete loss of his former "beige" privilege at local tennis courts.
- His favorite shade remains "Executive Bronze"
The Family Dynamic
Denny continues to hum, seemingly indifferent to the fact that his father is currently the color of a well-oiled violin. Monteclair looks at his son with a mixture of pride and fiscal calculation. "Denny understands the aesthetic," Monteclair notes, smoothing his eyebrows. "He doesn't care if I’m translucent or charcoal, as long as the Wi-Fi works and the trout are metaphorical. People ask if this 'condition' is a miracle. I tell them it’s a branding opportunity. Between you and me, I’m currently over-leveraging."
As they prepare to leave for a private tour of the Space Needle, Monteclair’s skin seems to shift a half-shade lighter, perhaps reacting to the Seattle overcast. He sighs, wondering aloud if a darker mocha would have commanded a higher appearance fee at next week's gala. For the Spraes, the world isn't just a stage—it's a swatch book.